​The Snow Storm

By Didi Gorman

I feel a need to explain why I’ve chosen to write about snow in the middle of this sweltering, muggy heatwave.

Well, that’s exactly why: because of the sweltering, muggy heatwave.

As I’m writing these lines, the sweat dripping gently down my forehead into the keyboard, I’m trying to imagine snow. Remember snow?

So let me entertain you with a refreshing (and almost true) snow story, while you sit by the swimming pool, or paddle a kayak on the lake, or sit comfortably on your couch, the air conditioning turned on to the max.

*    *

As soon as I left the warm office, on that frigid February evening, I was met by a blinding blizzard outside.

I tottered through the barely-visible parking lot towards my snow-enveloped car, but I didn’t search for my car keys.

I’d learned from experience that any attempt to fiddle with the door lock in such a brutal storm was futile and would only result in frozen fingers and hypertension on my part: the key would get stuck in the keyhole and refuse to budge.

I’d also learned that the solution to this predicament was to first scrape the ice off the car (including the door lock, obviously) and only then try the keyhole.

And so, I pulled a foldable ice scraper out of my bag, extended the handle, and scraped the snow off the windows. Then I cleared the windshield and the roof, all the while wishing I were a few inches taller so I wouldn’t have to jump up and down attempting to reach the top of the car. (At least it warmed me up a bit.)

Finally, I removed the snow off the license plate.

It was then that I realized three important things: a) I wasn’t familiar with that license plate; b) my colleague Todd was now approaching me, calling, ‘Wow, thanks! That’s so nice of you! I really appreciate it!’; and c) there was another car, parked right behind the one I’d just cleaned; its shape – as much as I could distinguish through the massive layer of snow engulfing it – oddly similar to mine.

*    *

Now, I could have terminated this anecdote right here, and we’d all have a good laugh at my misfortune or goofiness, or nearsightedness, or all the above, but as luck would have it, that week was our office’s ‘random acts of kindness’ week. Needless to say, my selfless (albeit unintentional) good turn went viral once it became known in the office (Todd did an amazing job telling everybody how valiantly I fought the snow off his car), and I was unanimously voted number one candidate for the office’s altruistic award.

As for the prize, I couldn’t have wished for anything better: a three-foot extendible snow brush! My peers must have figured they might as well equip me properly, should I decide to extend my snow removal services further. And by ‘further’ I mean higher.

So if you see a small figure with one arm that seems to extend longer than its entire stature, battling the snow off the tallest of vehicles during the fiercest of storms, know that it might just be me, trying to win the altruistic prize for the second time, and who knows, maybe this time I’ll ask for a door lock de-icer!