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The Cellphone Trade-In

Posted by Didi Gorman on

By Didi Gorman

Didi Gorman, Wise Choice Market's blog writer

Oh, hey, long time no see! Funny running into you like this, just as you were about to cross the street. How’ve you been?

Really? You’ve just started a new job? That’s exciting! In what field, if I may ask?

A cellphone store? What a coincidence! I traded-in my old phone the other day for this impressive new model, and it was dirt cheap, too! Here, look.

Uhm… what do you mean this model is six years old? Ah, right, I’m forgetting you now work in this field.

Sorry, I didn’t quite get your question. Oh. If I had read the small print in the contract they had me sign. Well… no, I didn’t, not really, and judging by your facial expression, I probably should have.

Yes, yes, of course I’m aware it’s important to always read the small print before signing.

Extra fees? What extra fees?

You’re serious? I have to pay extra for Wifi and downloads? Geez, and I had assumed it was all included…

Yes, you’re right, it was indeed, like you just said, a bit ‘naïve’ on my part, I confess. But what just happened? Did the breeze just blow some dust into your eyes? You seem to be rolling them. Ah, never mind, you’ve recovered.

Deposit? Yes, indeed there was a small deposit to pay, but why are you saying the word ‘deposit’ in such an odd way?

Ohmygawd… Non-refundable? No, I didn’t realize it… I can’t believe I fell for it. You’re making a good case, I have to admit, both for reading the small print AND for consulting YOU the next time.

Which model was I actually looking for, you’re asking? Mmm, I don’t recall the exact name, but it was the one with that app… that app… whatchamacallit…

Which one? No, not facial recognition.

No, not step-counter either. No, it was more like, uh, mind-reading or something. Oh, hang on, now I remember. Telepathy! That’s it! It was a telepathy app! And unfortunately, I haven’t managed to find it on this new phone of mine, although I had imagined all new models would have it.

By the way, when you open your eyes this wide – like you’re doing at this very moment – I can clearly see how hazelnutty they are.

Sure, I can describe that app to you; though I would appreciate it if you stopped arching your eyebrows like that, it throws me out of focus. Anyway, the app: It’s an amazingly clever thing and it has the ability to guess who’s on your mind! All you need to do is key-in a few digits, like a code, or a sequence or something, and it will miraculously connect you to the person you were searching for. In the first few seconds there’s this repeating sound of a bell or a ding and then, out of the blue, the person’s voice magically appears in your cell. At that point, the two of you can engage in a lovely conversation. Are you familiar with this marvel?

You do? And how do you call it?

‘Call’? You just call it ‘call’? How beautifully straightforward! And you look oddly amused by it too! I can tell by the angle of your lips, which seem to twist towards only one side. Ha, ha. It’s as if you’re smiling only on the left!

Sure. Here. You can have a look at my phone. I will take your soft sigh as a sign of concentration, or perhaps you’ve just been shaking your head for too long and your body is finally signaling you to stop.

But what is it that you’re showing me?

You don’t say! This mesmerizing feature is already inside MY phone? This gotta be the best day of my life! My trade-in deal was worth it after all!

You seem to be strangely amused again, and your eyes have widened considerably. Though when you clasp your mouth in your hand like this, I can’t quite see your reassuring smile.

Oh, sure, yes, of course, you need to be going. I need to be going too, as a matter of fact. You know what? I’ll swing by your store later today and we can keep chatting about the latest advancements in this cutting-edge mobile technology!

You won’t be there today, after all? Some other engagement? Of course, I understand. No problem, I’ll come by another time. It was truly lovely running into you today. Your expertise has made my day!