A tomato soup like no other

By Didi Gorman

Are you looking for a steamy, flavorful, tomato soup recipe that will wow your family and have everyone’s taste buds begging for more?

You’ll have to look elsewhere, in that case. You won’t find it in this article.

For some reason, my soup came out inedible.

Worse. It nearly blew up the kitchen… and sent an entire family running to the bathroom, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

It all started when mom called me the other week, gushing about this heavenly Italian tomato soup she had just made and which turned out so scrumptious and mouthwatering, that she was seriously considering opening her own restaurant.

After such an intro, I instantaneously decided to emulate the recipe.

Which I did, to the letter: I sliced tomatoes, minced garlic, and chopped onion and dill. I then added a tin of tomato paste to the pot and stirred. I covered everything in water, sprinkled salt and pepper, stirred again, covered with a lid and simmered.

But two things happened when I served the soup to the family:
1) One by one, folks excused themselves from the table and rushed to the washroom. I had never seen such a queue in the hallway, and we’re only five of us!
2) A series of mysterious explosions was coming from the kitchen.

I ducked under the dining table, waiting for the blasts to subside.

A couple of minutes later, I came out of my hiding spot and cautiously approached the pot. Something was still quivering inside it.

Spooky.

I carefully removed the lid and looked inside. The concoction was unrecognizable.

Now, let me ask you: How come the same recipe has yielded two such strikingly opposite results – mom will be opening a gourmet restaurant, while I’ll be calling the insurance? I mean, I followed the recipe to the letter! To the letter, I’m telling you, to the letter!

Hang on a sec. I just realized something. When it said in the recipe ‘add a tin of tomato paste to the soup and stir,’ was I supposed to open the tin?

Anybody?