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An Unusual Pet Story

Posted by Didi Gorman on

Our latest visit to the pet store was supposed to go like this: we’d go in, pet the bunnies, admire the hamsters, adore the Guinea pigs, and then just leave. Simple right? Very, very simple.

Now, one may wonder, why wouldn’t we want to buy anything at the pet store, actually?

Well, that’s because we already have pets at home including all their equipment. We have two adorable white Dumbo pet rats, Alfredo and Tippex, both purchased at said pet store three months ago and named after white things. Wait, what? You’re about to close this post? No, no, please keep reading! Dumbo rats are absolutely endearing with those droopy eyes and low, round ears which make their facial expression look like they’re constantly perplexed as to what’s going on. And they’re friendly and curious, and clean, too! They spend much of their waking hours grooming themselves. Seriously. You should google ‘Dumbo rats’ later (but LATER, not while reading this post…). So there, we simply didn’t need anything from the pet store. It was really, really intended as a petting-only, no-purchase kind of visit.

“I’m just reminding everybody that we’re not getting anything, we’re just looking around,” I declared as we entered the pet store.

Ok, then.

Don’t ask me what happened next. Someone was weak. Someone just couldn’t resist. That someone was me.

So, thirty-seven minutes later and seventy-six dollars poorer, we emerged from the store boasting:
A rat shampoo (in cherry fragrance, lathers without water, no rinse needed),
A pink rat harness (with a leash, so you can take your little companion for a walk),
A rat wheel (for exercise; it’s important to keep your rat fit and in good shape),
A rat slide (also for exercise),
A rat hummock (for a much-needed nap after so much exercise)

Back home, a bewildered white Dumbo rat found himself lathered in cherry fragranced shampoo while his puzzled brother was clad in a pink harness and taken for a walk around the living room.

Now, there are several important lessons to take from our story:
A) We shouldn’t underrat rats as a species.
B) The law of supply and demand is fascinating: Whenever there’s an eager customer, there’s an even more eager entrepreneur to supply whatever it might be, including cherry-fragranced rat shampoos and pink rat-harnesses. Come to think of it, why are only cats and dogs entitled to these perks?
C) Always bring more cash to the pet store, and save face by NOT declaring ‘we’re not buying anything’ as you walk in.

In summation, I’ve written a poem to commemorate this experience. I’m titling it ‘The Rat in the Flat’:
A white fat rat walked around the flat,
He was held by a leash, and felt safe like that,
And lucky for him, we don’t have any cat,
Or that would be the end of the lovely fat rat.

So there, our latest pet adventures.

I will take this opportunity to wish you and your pet a most delightful weekend,

Didi
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